![]() ![]() ![]() Without a good marriage model embedded in their minds, they make great progress in their marriage but are unaware of how much excess baggage both really carry. ![]() But although they have talked many times, neither has grasped the impact their parents’ divorces had on them. Symbol #5: Excess baggageīecause both Bob and Jan came from broken homes, they were determined their marriage would be different. Teresa craves intimacy and desperately wants to be his partner in life. He feels trapped within the limitations of his personality. The dream and hope of intimacy is already fading in the darkness behind locked doors where they have withdrawn.īill was able to open up during their engagement, but now he finds it difficult to share his feelings. They live in marital isolation Symbol #4: Locked doorsīill and Teresa have only been married for six months, but they have already hurt each other deeply. Their lives only touch at points-when their paths cross. With their children adding their own set of escalating “priorities,” they feel even more pried apart by their driving lifestyles. Fatigue is taking its toll and has left little energy for romance. They’re too whipped-they now live for the weekends. Those walks and late-night talks that they used to enjoy have disappeared. But ever since they started their family, they’ve noticed a difference in their marriage. Steve and Angela are both aggressive professionals, actively involved in civic responsibilities and their church. Instead, the silence in their home is broken only by the occasional squeak of a rocking chair and the tick, tick, tick of a clock. And now, when they come to visit, it’s evident there isn’t much of a relationship left. They saw Dad give his life to his job and Mom pour her life into the kids. Growing up, they felt the loneliness between their parents at points of unresolved conflict and misunderstanding. But neither of them recognizes the silence that has crept into their relationship. Their marriage of 35 years has withstood time. Near retirement, Ben and Mary have raised their family and now they are proud of their new grandchildren. Too proud to seek counsel, they find they can’t discuss the subject anymore-the area is declared off limits-and “NO TRESPASSING” signs now replace welcome mats. They are relaxed around one another and are considered by many to have a model marriage.īut over the years they have become alienated from one another because of an unsatisfying sex life. They communicate well and have worked through several difficult problems. Paul and Michelle’s marriage has steadily grown during their 25 years together. Here are a few I’ve observed in different marriages over the years. Throughout our culture symbols of isolation can be found. Some experience intimacy to a degree, but for many, marriage becomes what Woody Allen cynically described as “the death of hope.” The tragedy is that few couples achieve it. And marriage is where most people hope they’ll find it. The soul was not created to live in solo. A veteran member of the Billy Graham Crusade team told me recently that the number one need that Dr. But it seems to be gaining momentum as we race into the next century on a sphere teeming with five billion-plus inhabitants. It’s been around since the beginning of man and woman’s creation. Why don’t you stop and introduce yourselves sometime?” “Hey, lady,” he said, “you two seem to like the looks of each other pretty well. When we pass, we both yell, “I love you!” One day, after our rush-hour rendezvous, a man who had obviously witnessed this scene several times pulled up beside me at a stoplight. Thus our cars always pass going in opposite directions on a street just a few miles from our house. My husband works a night shift, while I work days. The following story expresses how Barbara and I feel many days: ![]()
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